Retire?

How could I retire from guacamole after this past Sunday, when I made a batch of Guacamole Gregorio that seemed to achieve what so few of mine had done in 2009? Sunday felt like the 2008 season all over again. The avocados were soft and ripe. The hair-trigger ingredients danced with each other in an intoxicating rumba. The bowl was scraped clean – my mom, who’s staying with us, even asked for a spoon to collect the final strips of green.

Retire?

Me?

Hell no.  

Call me the Brett Favre of guacamole.

The Helen Thomas of the green stuff.

I ain’t going away just yet.

So yes, by the powers invested in me (by the International Commission for the Guacamole Arts), it is my pleasure to open the 2010 Guacamole Season. Let there be Mexican beer in frosted glasses. Let there be Latin jazz beating in the background. May the sun shine on you and your lemons and red onions. May the guacamole gods smile on your cumin and cilantro. May you embrace thick, authentic tortilla chips.

In other words, I wish each and every one of you nothing but the very best.