Imagine my rapture.
Imagine the delicious joy that coursed through my veins when I glanced the telltale signs of something wonderful — the sans-serif font, the classic black-and-white color scheme and the distinct humor screaming from the tabloid headline, “OBAMA CANCELS JUNE!,” and the sub-head, “11-month year will save Americans billions.”
Was I hallucinating? Was this a dream? Was this actually a flash of the defunct print mag, my dearly departed Weekly World News, right there beside the supermarket checkout line?
I took a closer look, picked up the tabloid. It was the Sun, a lesser tabloid, but in this issue it was offering a bonus insert of the World News, which broke my heart when it folded 2007.
Long story short, I gladly bought a copy and soon was enjoying stories about a 275-pound, 10-year-old boy who beat muggers to “within an inch of their lives,” a doll house that is haunted by a “tiny spirit” and a “killer-duck” crisis in the Midwest. Yes, I do know the Weekly World News offers stories online [see, “Tax Extension for Bat Boy”], but there was something so very special about having a new printed version in my hands.
Hillary’s alien lover would understand.
April 16, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Stoked. Actually, I was once on the cover of the WWN. No shit, true story. Got $50 to pose as a Secret Service agent protecting JFK and Jackie O’s secret reunion. Swear to God, check your humor section at the local B&N…find BAT BOY LIVES. Pages 154-57.
April 16, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Dude, go to the local B&N and find BAT BOY LIVES?? … No, I own that thing. Had it for years. … Can’t wait to look you up.
You, my friend, have touched greatness.
April 16, 2009 at 2:41 pm
PS: I’m not black.
April 20, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I am Bat-boy and I still haven’t seen my stimulus package. Batty needs a new set of fangs!