Wednesday night, I was in the midst of suffering a common malady in my profession — the communicator’s anti-climax.
Here’s how it works. The communicator, a total junkie for creating things that “connect” with viewers or readers, works his or her tail off to complete a big project. Lots of effort and thought goes into the project. Along the way, he has a blast — a blast creating, a blast getting feedback, a blast collaborating with other communicators.
This is part of the high.
The other part of the high is anticipating the connection that he hopes to make with the audience — the hope of connecting with strangers, of evoking emotions out of them that might range from laughter to glee to nostalgia to even sadness. And when it happens, when his work is unveiled, and people are affected in these human ways, the high is about as sweet as it can get. And in today’s world of blogs, metrics and email, never has the communicator enjoyed more immediate, direct and pure access to this juice, this “connection” juice.
But there’s a danger — the communicator’s anti-climax.
It happens as the “dust” starts to settle. Suddenly, there’s a void. Suddenly, the “connection” with the audience is over; they have moved on to something else. And in some cases, the reaction is not what one had hoped and the “connection” wasn’t as strong as he’d expected. And in the case of big efforts, like my work on an April Fools prank, the audience reaction, no matter how pronounced, will sometimes feel somewhat less than expected.
This is what happened to me the other night. I was crashing. I was crashing hard.
And yet, I was in denial. I kept checking hit counts and email messages, kept looking for signs that the “connection” with viewers was still there. But deep down inside, I knew it was gone. As a former newspaper reporter, and as a guy with a novel in a literary agent’s hands, I know from experience that the anti-climax is marked by a sense of failure, and subsequent exhaustion.
Luckily, my psyche re-balances, and my view of reality is more accurate, and I can better appreciate the work that has been completed, and before I know it, I’m back — ready to start something new, hoping to get another shot of that juice.
Does this happen to you with your professions/passions?
April 4, 2008 at 5:47 am
I think the quietness after completing a project leaves a good opportunity to recheck your values and make sure you’re up for another. But it comes with the territory. It’s difficult to come up with something that will live forever. And I’m not sure that’s the idea 😉
April 4, 2008 at 8:30 am
Absolutely! I experienced it every night after I rolled credits and signed off the 11 PM news and/or after the last curtain call. Suspended! Untethered! Slightly bereft! I’ve come to believe that it’s a necessity of the creative process. It’s a crossing from one expression of yourself to another one yet to come. While I know how hard it is to let go of the “high” and the connection, I also know that I am going to need that moment to take a breath, so that I can gather it again to do what I love best.
April 4, 2008 at 8:37 am
The alternative to riding the wave/crashing, high tide/low tide, excited/empty, and so on … is flat-line. May we all continue with our highs and lows.
April 4, 2008 at 8:44 am
Like Christmas morning after opening all your gifts…The letdown that few things live up to our fervored expectations, and even when they do, we’re still metaphorically peeking around the back of the Christmas tree to see if maybe we missed just one package. But who wants to give up Christmas morning?? Or the fun of preparing for the big moment and anticipating the looks on your kids’ faces? Not I!